SailorMoon Viruses
by SchweigenRoshan
Summary: Beware the new age of technology! A compilation of the most vicious viruses ever known.


Disclaimer: This is a SailorMoon fan fiction. SailorMoon belongs to Naoko Takeuchi, Toei, Bandai, Kodansha and anyone else who has rights.  
  
Author's Notes:  
This is for sheer fun... Not sure if you'd consider this slapstick. Well, I guess it's just poking fun at the characters. Might not make you laugh at all . Anyway, I'd just like to say that this "virus" thing isn't original. I got inspired by a site which had a virus joke of the characters in Rurouni Kenshin. I thought that SailorMoon characters are slightly flatter than that of RK (IMO), so it'd be interesting to see what viruses I could come up with ^.^ Also, if some part of this just doesn't have that one last kick to make it roll-on-floor-laughing quality (and I suspect quite a lotta parts here qualify), and you know how it can be improved, please do post it in the review. Thank you very much! Hope you enjoy it ^.^  
  
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SailorMoon Viruses  
by =Schweigen=Roshan=  
  
Usagi virus (*fish*ballhead.exe):   
Constant wailing is heard from the speakers and it will only get louder until food is placed in front of the CPU or until the Mamoru virus is installed. If the Rei virus is present, the computer will explode.   
  
Chibiusa virus (pinksugarheartsore.exe):   
Your desktop theme suddenly changes to a very off-beat theme of eye-sore pink. A shrill voice starts singing from the speakers, "I'm so cute, oh I'm so cute. Sugary cute, I'll give you cavities!" Pictures of candy start flying all around the screen.   
  
Mamoru virus (kidnapped.exe):   
Does not do anything much. Will not allow the Usagi virus to be deleted, unless it is first deleted. It is surprisingly easy to delete, anyway.   
  
Ami virus (booksandpencils.exe):   
Your screen suddenly starts flashing a lot of miscellaneous information about every topic in the world which you never knew and don't understand anyway.   
  
Rei virus (toobeautifulformy***.exe):   
Your computer suddenly starts being a narcist. As mentioned, it will explode when the Usagi virus is present.   
  
Makoto virus (sempaiobssession.exe):   
Constant sighs are heard and everytime a man/masculine female walks past the computer, the computer will flash a big heart following a "Sempai!" from the speakers.   
  
Minako virus (starwannabe.exe):   
Pictures of celebreties start popping up on your screen. If the computer is connected to the internet, the virus will register you into all the star-search/modelling contests it has in its database. The virus also does karaoke on your computer.   
  
Haruka virus (hotlegs.exe):   
Your computer can suddenly work 10 times faster than normal. If the computer is connected to the internet, it will buy a lot of cars from online auctions, especially if the cars are expensive. It will only stop purchasing the cars when the Michiru virus or the Usagi virus is installed. Pickup lines start flashing on the screen too, regardless of your gender, until either the Michiru virus or the Usagi virus is installed.   
  
Michiru virus (harukanomiko.exe):   
A relatively harmless virus. Classical violin music plays from the speakers. Occasionally, elegant lady-like (sometimes irritating) laughter is heard. Will not allow the Haruka virus to be deleted.   
  
Hotaru virus (killtheworld.exe):   
Your screen suddenly flashes a *very* bright light and the monitor and CPU explodes after a "Death Reborn Revolution" is heard. It is advised that you close your eyes the moment you hear the mentioned phrase. Amazingly, your computer appears again after the flash. All it does is to format all drives, including the A drive.   
  
Setsuna (mixedup.exe):   
Your computer suddenly hangs, and will not switch off regardless of how many times you push the button. After a random amount of time, it starts running again, but the central date and time is totally messed up. All the other dates are also messed up and files which have their 'Last Modified' date after the central date will be deleted (ala Y2K virus). 


End file.
